I’m tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am. The way I’ve been treated is like a piece of dog shit.

— Paula Abdul
premiere episode, Hey Paula
2007 Bravo TV

Why It’s Moronic

Beside her behavior being documented on reality TV, there’ve been rumors for awhile that working with Paula Abdul—and her dogs—is an absolute nightmare. Hey, Paula, are you so stoned on opiates disillusioned to think you’re mistreated by your colleagues and employees? Maybe people are just practicing their own form of the Golden Rule, treating you as they are being treated by you. Now roll over. Oh, wait... you said “dog shit.” In that case, get in this little blue bag so I can sneak you into my neighbor’s garbage can.