It’s an amazing feeling. It’s our first, you know, colored president.

— Lindsay Lohan
interview with Maria Menounos
Access Hollywood

Why It’s Moronic

It’s not 1950, for starters. Where does a 21-year-old even pick up the term “colored?” I’m in my thirties and have never heard anyone use the word in my life.

My guess is that LiLo is desperate for attention (big surprise) and needed to say something controversial to get people talking about her. No one seems to care about her purported girl-girl romance. I submit for your consideration: She’s such a fame-whore that she doesn’t even care about tarnishing her own character, just as long as the public’s collective jaw is flapping.

In addition, the admitted recovering addict looks like she’s on something during the interview. Between the eye-bags and mumbled speech, I’d bet money that she was under the influence of something. I’m surprised this hasn’t been mentioned around the web.

I’ve read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media… Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.

— Gov. Sarah Palin
“Palin Opens Up On Controversial Issues”
Sep 2008 CBS Evening News with Katie Couric

Why It’s Moronic

This was Gov. Sarah Palin’s response to Katie Couric’s Vice-Presidential interview question, “And when it comes to establishing your world view, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?”

Granted, Couric’s question was insulting—was she really insinuating that Palin doesn’t read newspapers or news magazines? I think it’s fair to say that any governor of any state reads a fair amount of news. It’s also worth noting that Couric wouldn’t dare ask the same of Obama, Biden, or McCain. Throughout the interview, Katie couldn’t hide her disdain for Palin, even with her perpetual baby-corn-teeth smile.

The real problem, though, is that Palin doesn’t know how to respond without sounding like an idiot. Part of this may be due to political-correctness; how would the public react if the Bulldog threw it back at Katie with: “Are you really asking me if I read news? Could you be any more condescending?” Maybe she was so maddened by the question that her focus was on controlling her anger, such that she fumbled on listing her favorite news sources (and instead offered a public appreciation for the press). Of course, there’s always the possibility that Palin truly gets her “news” exclusively from Us Weekly, Star, and the Talkeetna Good Times.

We’ll never know the real reason for Palin’s idiotic answer, but you can bet this quote will go down as a classic political flub.

Pull out the flyest sh*t in your closet, or have your stylist pull something for you. Definition of Fly Sh*t: The top designers ie. Sean John Collection, Gucci, Dolce and Gabana, YSL Couture, Versace.

— Diddy
Diddy’s 29th birthday invitation
The Smoking Gun

Why It’s Moronic

Diddy does his best to come off as a high-class snob with impeccable taste, but he fails time and again. I remember viewing the invitation for one of his White Parties that had some idiotic grammar error on it and being slightly embarrassed for him. On this doozy, he further offends the senses in multiple, additional ways:

• He misspells Dolce & Gabbana, one of the few “top designers” listed as acceptable labels to wear.

• He uses the word “shit” (never appropriate for an invitation, especially for a supposedly A-list event) and makes it even more informal by replacing the “i” with an asterisk. Classy!

• He misuses “i.e.,” (but, of course!).

• The whole text is just laughable, with poor writing and, unfortunately, no sense in his people to intervene and correct to save their boss-king from humiliation. (Clearly, he is surrounded by an entourage of yes men. Diddy probably doesn’t realize to this day that his party invitations suck.)

In summation, Diddy embodies the adage that money doesn’t buy taste; indeed, his Cîroc Vodka commercials, complete with mumble-mouth voiceovers, only rectify his crassness. A B for effort, though.

Sometimes it’s so hard to find what it is you’re trying to say. People might think you turn creativity on and off, but it’s not like that. It just kind of comes out, a mash-up of all these things you collect in your mind. You never know when it’s gonna happen, but when it does, it’s like magic. It’s just that simple, and it’s just that hard.

— Gwen Stefani
2008 HP television commercial
YouTube

Why It’s Moronic

Five words: This shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

I’ve sat by in silence for a long time now about the way women’s bodies are constantly scrutinized. To set the record straight, I’m not upset for me, but for all the girls out there that are struggling with their body image. A size 2 is not fat, nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn’t make you beautiful. To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini — put it on and stay strong.

— Jennifer Love Hewitt
“A size 2 is not fat!”
Dec 2007 Associated Press

Why It’s Moronic

It seems that poor Jen wasn’t quite as okay with her size-2 self as she adamantly claimed to be in several press outlets after being confronted with cellulite-laden bikini photos.

After what surely was a long summer of obsession (and sick-of-reassuring assistants), in August 2008, Hewitt secured the cover of Us Weekly with the huge headline “18 LBS IN TEN WEEKS!”

Way to stay strong for all the girls with “butts, boobs, hips and a waist,” Love!